Assalaamu alaikum, lovelies! We are now on day 3 of the Ramadan Countdown! So far it’s looking like I did not miscount the days, but we’ll see Insha’Allah (I may be a little worried I’ve miscounted how many days there are left, guys). The topic for today is practicing self-restraint with gossip and general conversations with the people around you.
Gossip or backbiting can come so naturally especially if the people around you tend to engage in it. It’s only natural that if our friends or family are talking about one thing, we feel compelled to play along. It’s part of social survival; don’t be the odd one out and don’t make things awkward. It’s easy to forget that backbiting is haram and that it fosters a lot of negativity and toxicity in our relationships. There’s nothing good that can come from it. And like they say, if someone is gossiping to you, they are for sure gossiping about you. It’s a vicious cycle. My take on it is: why waste time caring about what someone else is doing or wearing when you could just focus on yourself and be a lot happier?
Another good practice is to watch the words we say to people throughout all our conversations, not just the hot gossip. What tone of voice are we using? Is what we say mostly positive or negative? Are we rude? Do we put people down? Do we tell cruel jokes? Do we make fun of others? Do we lie? Do we brag? All annoying questions, but these are behaviours that can become habits without us even noticing. Don’t be the negative, judgmental auntie that everyone avoids at Eid!
Honestly, there’s no magic trick to being positive. It just takes a little thinking before you speak, actually focusing on the positive and minding your own business. It can also help to not say anything at all, like in Bambi. You don’t even have to explain yourself or chastise anyone else. If people start saying mean things about someone else, you can always chime in and counteract with positive things you notice about the person.
It’s easy to forget how effective our words can be, not just on ourselves but also on others. I’ve had to learn this lesson and it’s kind of painful. But I’m so much happier and my relationships are better when I watch what I say. And especially now that Ramadan’s here, it’s time for blessing others with kindness.