But some have twisted it to oppress women. When I say some, I mean most of society in almost every culture on the planet.
That’s how powerful it is. That if we’re not careful with it, if we don’t know how to use it, it can be used as a weapon against us.
Allah (SWT) created both masculine and feminine energies. These are in perfect harmony with each other, a balance that allows us to thrive. But there is more profit in imbalance.
There’s more money in divorce, in the rat race to have the most and look the best, in seeking out solutions to “fix” us when we finally realize something is wrong.
We are being taught that our true purpose is lying outside of ourselves and our deen. We are being taught to accept our flaws without being shown how to transform them into strengths. We are being taught to fight our nature so that we are constantly questioning who we are and what we’re supposed to do.
And all of this has created a world full of unhappy, unfulfilled people. Things that were once beautiful are now seen as ugly and a burden. Things have fallen drastically out of balance. So how do we return back to that harmony?
We can only start with ourselves, one action at a time. As women, we must embrace our femininity and use it for good. The traits that we’ve tried to distance ourselves from because the world has told us they would never allow us to be successful-these are the traits we need to take back. These traits are unique to us, they give us our power! They have been bestowed upon us by Allah (SWT) as a gift to make this world a better place.
In Islam, the feminine is treasured so much so that it is veiled from everyone except those worthy of being graced by it. Women are given rights, encouraged towards education and contribution, their natural role as daughters/sisters/wives/mothers given the recognition and status it deserves.
“The women are not a garment you wear and undress however you like. They are honoured and have their rights.” – Umar ibn Al-Khattab R.A.
There is so much about being feminine that I want to revisit and relearn. I want to start here. See where it takes me.
It is almost 2 am here in London and I just finished Salatul Tasbih. The Prophet (SAW) recommended for us to perform this prayer at least once during our lifetime. It’s a long one, but doing so will erase a lifetime of sins.
Honestly, after many nights of not sleeping after iftar, I am sleep deprived. Right now I can barely keep my eyes open. But tonight reminded me of the beauty of our faith. Prayer is a sort of meditation for us. It re-centers and grounds us, reminding us of what really matters. It’s coming up to 2 years since I became Muslim and I just have to be really thankful for where Allah (SWT) has brought me. This Ramadan has been a challenge but also a blessing.
Praying Salatul Tasbih reminded me of so much that I had forgotten. It brought forward a lot of insight into my own inner workings and reminded me that Allah (SWT) needs to be at the center of everything I do. It also reminded me of all the little bits of haram in my life that I need to fix. We all have these: little actions, words, thoughts that become habits that are subtly bringing us down in the background. Now, I feel in my heart an openness towards what I need to do to change and be the best Muslim I can be. I feel like I’ve been given a direction and now I know where to begin, insha’Allah.
I know it’s late and I’m getting too deep (don’t catch me in a discussion in the middle of the night, I get way too into it!), so I’ll leave you with the how-to below. It’s a little intimidating, but it’s worth it and you can do it!
Rasulullah ﷺ is narrated to have said to his uncle Hazrat ‘Abbas (R.A): O Abbas! O my uncle! Shall I not give you a gift? Shall I not show you something by means of which Allah will forgive your sins, the first and the last of them, the past and recent, the unintentional and the intentional, the small and huge, the secret and open? The Holy Prophet ﷺ then taught him the Salah al-Tasbih. Furthermore he advised him that it be offered daily, if possible. If not, then every Friday or once a month or once a year or at least once in one’s life time. (Abu Dawood)
The Tasbih that is read is: ‘Subhaanallaahi walhamdu lillaahi walaa ilaaha illallaahu wallaahu akbar’
Read here for the details on how to perform this prayer if you’re interested!
With most of us around the world in lockdown, the topic of self-care has been more popular than ever. And with Ramadan upon us, now is the time to establish a solid, halal routine to be our best selves! To do this, I’m teaming up with my girl, the amazing Bayance, to go back to the sunnah and a few popular halal beauty practices. The glow up is real, y’all.
In Islam, beauty is so treasured and respected that we have been given a responsibility to protect and preserve it. As Muslim women, we’re encouraged to beautify ourselves for the sake of Allah (SWT), our husbands, and ourselves. It is said that beautifying yourself can be an act of worship if done in accordance with the sunnah. Check out the list below for my halal Ramadan self-care routine!
1) Hot Oil Treatments for Hair
“I heard Jabir bin Samurah being asked about the gray hairs of the Prophet [SAW]. He said: ‘If he put oil on his head they could not be seen, but if he did not put oil on his head, they could be seen.’” (An-Nasa’i)
“Rasulullah often rubbed oil in his head and also often combed his beard. He put a cloth over his head, which became like an oil cloth due to the frequent use of oil.” (Shamaa’il Muhammadiyya)
Oiling the hair was recommended by the Prophet (SAW), who did it himself. It nourishes the hair, promoting softness and shine and can protect against split ends. To do a hot oil treatment, you’ll need an oil of your choice (olive oil is highly recommended), an old t-shirt, water, a bowl, and a towel or plastic bag. Soak the t-shirt in water, place it in the bowl, and microwave for 30 secs or until hot. Make sure it’s not so hot that you’ll burn yourself. As you wait for the shirt to heat up, coat your hair in oil. Once done, wring the excess water from the shirt and wrap your hair in it. To insulate the treatment and get the full effect, wrap your head in a towel or plastic bag and let sit for 30 minutes or until the treatment goes cold. Then shampoo your hair and you’re done!
And full disclaimer, you will look crazy while doing this. Good thing we’re in lockdown, right?
A’ishah said, ‘a woman gestured from behind a screen, with a letter to the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) in her hand. The Messenger of Allah withdrew his hand and said: “I do not know whether it is the hand of a man or a woman.” She said: It is a woman. He said: “If you were a woman, you would have changed your nails,” meaning, with henna. (Abu Dawud)
It is sunnah and hygienic to keep nails short and clean. But this doesn’t mean they can’t look pretty and feminine! To achieve this, you can file them to a nice shape, clean under the nails, and use a nail buffer to increase smoothness and shine without polish. You can also use any oil of your choice to moisturize the nail beds and promote nail and cuticle health.
3) Black seed oil massage for face and scalp.
Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet said: “Use this Black Seed regularly, because it is a cure for every disease, except death.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
Black seed oil holds a number of health benefits both internally and externally. It is a well-known antioxidant with anti-inflammatory properties as well. There have been some studies showing improvement of eczema, acne, and psoriasis for individuals using black seed oil. For skin health, you can use it to do an oil cleanse and massage for the face and scalp.
Rosewater is a very popular beauty product used in a number of households all over the world. It is full of antioxidants and has anti-inflammatory properties. It is also known to help balance the skin’s pH. This basically means that you can use it to soothe redness and irritation in the skin and also to protect the skin from damage. It can be used in place of normal water for clay masks or as a toner after cleansing the skin.
You can use rhassoul clay (or bentonite or green clay) to treat the skin and clear pores. You can also do a Moroccan-style hammam bath at home. This helps to draw out impurities from the skin, combat redness, soften the skin, and make it radiant.
And that, my lovelies, is my 5-step Ramadan self-care routine!
Bonus: make sure your everyday skin and hair care products are halal! One of the sneakiest ingredients is collagen which is often derived from beef and/or pork. Also watch out for wine and sake extracts. Funny story, the first 2 months I was Muslim I didn’t think to do this with my skincare routine. You would think I would have found the collagen products questionable with the cute little piggies on their packaging, but no. I continued to slather my face in it right before maghrib. Don’t be like me. Check the ingredients!
Be sure to check out Bayance’s post here for more genius halal beauty tips! What are your favourite self-care rituals? Tell me all about them in the comments below!
It’s been 2 years since I became Muslim. My parents were cool with it as well as my siblings. The only two people that I kept putting off telling were my grandparents. So long story short, 3 days ago I told them what was up. And they disowned me.
It’s a weird feeling being disowned, especially when it comes at you through text while you’re standing in a mile-long que outside a Tesco’s. I couldn’t even cry properly. And then I proceeded to wander around the store aimlessly for the next 2 hours. I completely forgot what I had even come to shop for.
I feel strangely happy now, though. Telling my grandparents the truth was freeing. I won’t go into the grisly details, but it was the right time. Hiding who I was from part of my family was so stressful. The only reason I waited so long was because I knew they wouldn’t take it well and I was scared.
But them disowning me was the worst thing that could have happened and it happened. I don’t have to censor myself or worry about what my family thinks of me anymore. And now I can finally change my voicemail greeting to say my new name.
It really is the little things, huh?
For all my reverts out there, have you told the people around you yet? How did you feel? I’d love to read your stories in the comments below!
Last year I spent Ramadan by myself so I was the only hangry person that I had to deal with. But, I have this personal philosophy that you shouldn’t make other people suffer for your own problems. Have I always been a shining example of this? No, but I try my best.
This year, I’m spending it with family and am around a lot more Muslims than before. Let’s just say I’ve seen some childish and rude behaviour coming from some of them. Like, everyone can be chilling, doing their thing, getting iftar ready and then one person has to come in and ruin the mood. Snapping at people, talking down to them, being disrespectful, yelling, complaining are some things I’ve seen some people do this month and I am not impressed.
I won’t go into details, but I’m surprised that there are people who walk around like they’re the best of the ummah but so easily throw away a fast. Yelling, insulting, berating, and taking out your hunger on everyone else is not a part of Ramadan and is the exact opposite of what the Prophet (SAW) would do. Ramadan isn’t just about being hungry and thirsty, y’all. Those are just the basics. This is a time to practice respect and kindness towards others. If we have the strength to face a day without food and water, we should also have the strength to refrain from destructive actions and words. We’re all fasting this month, we’re all hungry and sleep-deprived, so treat those around you with love and kindness.
This message is for everyone, including our elders. Astaghfirullah, I’ve seen some of the worst behaviour from them. May Allah (SWT) protect our hearts from growing stubborn and prideful as we age. Being older than another person does not give us the right to disrespect them or treat them poorly. Especially if we’ve been observing Ramadan for years, we should have the wisdom to monitor our behaviour and hold our tongues when we are about to speak in frustration. And if we do speak out of turn, we should have the humility to ask for forgiveness.
Ok, rant over. I just had to get that off my chest because I can’t say anything in person. You are all amazing and I wish you happy fasting! Also, go take a nap if you need it. xx
Y’all know it’s going to happen to a majority of us at some point during the month, so what do we do?
I used to get quite frustrated with my period during Ramadan. I saw it as a great injustice that I had to miss out on a week of fasting and good deeds just because my body decided to punish me for not getting pregnant. But the truth is, while you do have to put off fasting, you don’t have to put off your good deeds. Reading Quran may be off limits, but there is so much more that you can do to grow in your deen and serve the ones around you.
Mufti Menk once said something along the lines of this: what a blessing it is that Allah (SWT) chose to make things easy for women during their periods, subhan’Allah. It isn’t a curse and it isn’t something we should complain about. We get to rest and let our bodies do their thing. The female body is such a beautiful creation that requires a lot of care and that’s not a bad thing. She goes through seasons of fertility, rejuvenation, creation, intimacy, passion, energy, and nurturing. She is dynamic and transformative, subhan’Allah. The few days to a week that many of us have to slow down are crucial to reflecting and taking time to focus on things we usually move to the side.
All of the things we can do:
Make dua and do zhikr. Catch up on reading books on Islamic values and journaling your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Take the time we would usually be praying our 5 daily prayers and taraweh to reflect/meditate on whatever we feel needs attention. Volunteer and/or give to charity. Visit older family members, cook for people, or teach children about Islam. Slow down during this week (if we can) and practice a little self-care. Show a little love to ourselves and show love to our family. Especially now that everyone is fasting and low on energy, maybe we can help make everyone’s day a little better (which is also a form of charity, btw).
Obviously, we have to eat and drink during the day while we are menstruating. But it is also kind of awkward when you live with other people. Some women are still cool with waking up with their families for suhoor and then sneaking little bites of things throughout the day. But if you’d rather sleep in, that’s ok too! You do whatever works best for you. But also make sure you’re getting enough nutrients because your body definitely needs it during this time.
How do you spend this time during Ramadan? Tell me all about it in the comments below!
It is officially the first day of Ramadan! Ramadan Mubarak everyone. I pray that Allah (SWT) makes this month easy and successful for you. Welcome to all of you who have never fasted before! The first time can be a little overwhelming but you’ve got this!
Due to lockdown here in London, I’m practically stuck at home aside from the daily afternoon visits to my grandmother-in-law. I can’t complain, fasting takes a lot of you and it’s important to ration out your energy throughout the day so you don’t burn out. Not feeling obligated to go anywhere is such a blessing this month. So, what to do instead?
So far, my MIL has cleared one kitchen cabinet to start deep cleaning. My FIL has fixed the lawn mower and tinkered around with his bike. And my husband and I woke up at 10 and are still sitting in bed. Nah, I’m playing. We did wake up at 10 but we’ve managed to be a little productive. Our room has been tidied, laundry washed and hung out to dry, tested out a new rack to service the motorbike, and returned to bed to work on our computers.
Part of me wishes that I had saved most of my cleaning and organizing projects for this month rather than tackling them during last week’s make up fasts. Hindsight is 20/20. But now I get to focus on the more fun stuff! Today I’m dedicating time to write, begin course assignments, and work on my Ramadan goals. This way I can still be productive but save my physical energy for this evening.
One thing I will say for all my new Muslims is to avoid extended periods of time in the sun. And by extended, I mean more than 5 minutes. I thought sitting out to soak in the rays a bit would make me feel better last week and I came away with a throbbing headache, exhaustion, and intense thirst. It’s not even hot here. The best time to get fresh air is during a light stroll in the evening after Asr. The sun is lower in the sky and definitely not as intense.
That’s pretty much it for my first day of Ramadan. What do you have planned today?
Ok, I did get the days wrong. I’m sorry, I failed you all. Today’s preparation? I’ve got 2 for y’all!
1) Make sure you’ve got your alarm set for as much time as you need before suhoor ends. If you know you’re the type to hit snooze, put the alarm clock as far away from your bed as possible. Put your phone at the other end of the room. If you have a FitBit, set the silent alarm.
And when you’re waking up at 1/2/3 in the morning and it feels like the end of the world to get up, just remember that this is your last chance to eat food until Maghreb. Works for me every time.
2) Prepare your suhoor meal before hand. Since it’s the first one in awhile for many of us, it’s a lot easier to go for simple foods that you don’t have to cook from fresh. Cereal, overnight oats, granola, peanut butter balls, fruit, yogurt, boiled eggs, etc. Get all of it sorted out tonight so you don’t kick yourself in the morning.
Well, lovelies, it has been a wonderful 19 days with you. It would have been 20 but I don’t know how to count. Thank you so so much for joining me on this journey to reach this Ramadan, alhamdulillah. Ramadan Mubarak! And may Allah (SWT) grant you ease and blessing throughout this month, insha’Allah. Assalaamu alaikum.
Thank you for joining me once again for day 4 of our Ramadan Countdown! Today I want to talk about how we can set up our phones for Ramadan. I know that we discussed curating our playlists and social media feeds, but this goes even deeper. Especially now with the pandemic going on, most of us in lockdown, and Ramadan beginning in a few days, we will most likely be on our phones more than ever. How can we use this tool to make sure we stay focused on deen?
Below I’ve put together a list of really helpful apps to download. Check it out!
This one has to be one of my favourites and one that I recommend to everyone. It is a central hub for almost everything you could want. It has the Quran in not only the Arabic script, but also the English transliteration and translation. The text is also recorded so you can press the button by each individual ayat to hear the recitation (you can also customize this). You can also choose from practically any translation of the Quran that you wish and choose what type of script the surats will be written in.
There is also a qibla finder, prayer times that play an optional adhan, an Islamic calendar with the important Islamic dates listed, duas, a zakat calculator, Allah’s (SWT) 99 names and their meanings, a digital tasbih, Hajj/Umrah guides, a prayer tracker, a community forum, a live stream from Makkah, and more.
This is my second favourite app! To begin you can choose between a dark mode or a light mode and you can also choose your default language. It has versions of the Quran in French, English, Indonesian, Turkish, and Urdu. I love this app because you can listen to Quran recited by many different people. While most of it is the traditional Arabic recitation, there are also audio translations in French, English, and Urdu. You can also download your own playlists or the ones they’ve created to listen to offline.
This app is really simple but a nice little reminder during the day. As you can probably guess from the title, each day you receive a different hadith to read. You can choose which language you’d like the hadiths to be written in and you can share them with friends and families as well.
These were the first apps I downloaded when I was trying to learn how to pray. If you are struggling or still trying to memorize all the different steps and things to say, these are the apps for you. They provides graphics of how to perform each step, the transliteration of what to say, the meaning of what you’re saying, and videos to give a more in-depth demonstration.
The Step by Step Salat app goes a little more in depth so I’ve found that I prefer that one.
Yes, this is another Quran app but what makes this one different is it’s also designed to help you learn how to read it. It comes with games, challenge, guided lesson plans, and learning techniques to help you with memorization.
Ok, I know that the purpose of Ramadan is not to be focused on the opposite sex, but I’m leaving it here for those of you with Tinder hiding in your finances folder on your phone. Yeah, that’s right. I know all about that. It’s kind of obvious why Tinder and apps like it shouldn’t be on your phone during Ramadan. I mean, you do you, but there’s nothing good on them. On MuzMatch there are still people up to no good, but you also find a lot more people with good intentions and it’s much easier to set up boundaries. Your profile has to go through review every time a new photo or info is uploaded which ensures that modesty is upheld and no one posts inappropriate things. If you’re looking to get married, this is a really good app. They actually boast 3,000 marriages so far!
This app is chock full of Islamic lectures of all sorts. If you don’t want to download the app, you can also search the name on Spotify where you’ll find they have an entire playlist of stuff to listen to as well. I like having this app on hand because if I’m in the mood to listen to or watch something, it’s much easier to access good content on this platform than it is on YouTube. I always get distracted by skincare videos on YouTube so this is helpful for me.
If you’re trying to make your social media usage more halal and connect with other Muslims, these two apps are social media platforms targeted towards you. I have not used them myself and they are quite new and don’t seem to run as smoothly as the mainstream apps. So if you download them and they’re awful, please don’t hate me! They seem quite interesting, though and from what I’ve read on the reviews, you’re not able to contact people directly on theShukran so no worries about creepy DMs.
I’ve been on the search for good halal investing apps for those of you who are interested, and there seem to be quite a few. As I’m no expert in this field, I’ve linked to a website that actually lists these apps and their features out so that you can see what works best for you.
This app is a 3D exploring game. So far into playing it, it doesn’t seem like you can do much but walk around and explore the area but there are portals to different parts of Makkah and interesting facts along the way. Definitely interesting if you haven’t been for Umrah or Hajj yet!
Let me know what you think of these apps in the comments below! What are your favourite apps during Ramadan?
Assalaamu alaikum, lovelies! We are now on day 3 of the Ramadan Countdown! So far it’s looking like I did not miscount the days, but we’ll see Insha’Allah (I may be a little worried I’ve miscounted how many days there are left, guys). The topic for today is practicing self-restraint with gossip and general conversations with the people around you.
Gossip or backbiting can come so naturally especially if the people around you tend to engage in it. It’s only natural that if our friends or family are talking about one thing, we feel compelled to play along. It’s part of social survival; don’t be the odd one out and don’t make things awkward. It’s easy to forget that backbiting is haram and that it fosters a lot of negativity and toxicity in our relationships. There’s nothing good that can come from it. And like they say, if someone is gossiping to you, they are for sure gossiping about you. It’s a vicious cycle. My take on it is: why waste time caring about what someone else is doing or wearing when you could just focus on yourself and be a lot happier?
Another good practice is to watch the words we say to people throughout all our conversations, not just the hot gossip. What tone of voice are we using? Is what we say mostly positive or negative? Are we rude? Do we put people down? Do we tell cruel jokes? Do we make fun of others? Do we lie? Do we brag? All annoying questions, but these are behaviours that can become habits without us even noticing. Don’t be the negative, judgmental auntie that everyone avoids at Eid!
Honestly, there’s no magic trick to being positive. It just takes a little thinking before you speak, actually focusing on the positive and minding your own business. It can also help to not say anything at all, like in Bambi. You don’t even have to explain yourself or chastise anyone else. If people start saying mean things about someone else, you can always chime in and counteract with positive things you notice about the person.
It’s easy to forget how effective our words can be, not just on ourselves but also on others. I’ve had to learn this lesson and it’s kind of painful. But I’m so much happier and my relationships are better when I watch what I say. And especially now that Ramadan’s here, it’s time for blessing others with kindness.